


haunt me ( x 3 )

by ghastly (ghghgagygyh)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 10:46:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7711978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghghgagygyh/pseuds/ghastly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>early 2009 & late night texting</p>
            </blockquote>





	haunt me ( x 3 )

**Author's Note:**

> this is not really finished but i started writing it a year ago and i kind of like it but i don't think i will ever go back to it
> 
> i was listening to teen suicide a lot back then so i recommend you to do so too while reading (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVsPXS2MLnM)

~~haunt me haunt me haunt me~~

it was october. dan's parents, surprisingly, were at home, so there was no possibility of calling phil that night. every time a situation like that occurred, they usually ended up texting each other until one of them would fall asleep. skype was magical, but there was something just as amazing in the thought that at the same time both of them were lying in their beds, 300 miles apart, hoping that staring at their phone screens in complete darkness will not cause too much damage to their eyesight.

((phil’s eyesight actually got worse at that time but he still prefers to think that’s only because of his bad genes))

their conversations had a tendency to turn out quite deep. in the dark they weren't afraid of telling each other secrets, of innocently flirting with each other, or even of  making plans together. “we could live in london one day and have a dog”. normally an idea of this kind would be followed by “there's no way this would ever work out london is so fucking expensive” but in the dark everything seemed simplier. “i want to go to japan. i want to go there with you”. nothing was too embarrassing to confess in the dark.

the topic of phil’s university life faded out (at least for now) but after a short while dan’s phone screen lightened up again. dan often caught himself getting ridiculously excited at a notification of a new message. especially when he knew who it was from.

 “tell me about ur biggest fears”

another weird thing about their conversations was that they have never felt like it was even possible for any of them to lie to each other, ever. there was no need to do so - they seemed to get on perfectly well and they could tell each other everything.

((for some rather unknown reasons once they even sent each other their social insurance numbers. neither of them knew why and neither of them could even imagine that in a few years they would teach millions of teenagers about online safety))

dan didn’t have to think too long about his answer. he knew that phil would not laugh at him no matter what he would say.

“trees, moths, and paranormality”

he had mentioned his fear of moths before and they talked about the tree thing once ((phil didn’t know that he was actually the only person in the whole world -apart from dan- who knew the reasoning behind it)) but he had never really said anything about his fear of the dark.

“it’s weird. i know ghosts are not real but i’m honestly so scared to sleep alone every night lmao”

“i wish i was a ghost so i could haunt you all the time. i wouldn’t have to care about any fucking train tickets. and we could go to the cinema half price”

but the thing was, phil had been already haunting dan since the first time they’d ever talked. or even before that. it felt like dan was thinking about him, not fully consciously, in almost every second. and as they have never had an opportunity to actually meet in real life, to hug and just feel each other’s physical presence, it was very easy for dan to forget that phil actually exists somewhere there up north. and it was also very easy for him to forget that he exists as well, and that phil thinks about him probably just as much. that phil isn’t just a dream or a figment of his imagination.

is it possible to be so deeply in love with someone you have never even seen in person? the more dan thought about it, the more pathetic he felt. what if he was in love only with the idea of phil that he projected on him? he was good at reading people, but the internet made lots of things much more difficult.

maybe sometimes the easiest answers are the best ones though. maybe it would be better to just accept phil’s unreality. dan was aware that his perception of phil was slightly idealized. and even though that wasn’t generally a good thing, it didn’t really matter at that point.

it was almost three at night and phil has probably fallen asleep as dan hasn’t replied quick enough to keep his internet friend awake.

“im actually kind of convinced that you are a ghost”


End file.
